Procrastination Never Felt So Worthwhile

Eighty minutes ago, I sat down to do a quick, half-hour English Language assignment which I may yet complete. I can't remember exactly what minor pondering it was that I decided was worth a quick browse of Wikipedia to solve, but I ended up reading about 4'33'', Finnegans Wake and Pig Latin. I'm so glad you can't have hyperlinks is ordinary reference books. I'd never get anything done.

Today's Countdown Conundrum (Really, This Time)

Lambswool?

Lambswool?

That's just ridiculous.

Why Everyone Should Buy A Question Of Scruples

"On a train, you are saving the seat next to you in the hope that the attractive person you see queueing will ask for it. An old lady asks for it first. Do you tell her the seat is taken?"

"It depends... Is she wearing kinky boots?"

Just For The Sake Of An Update, Really

Since last updating this blog, I have:

- Been to Kent
- Learned two new card games
- Attended the funeral of an entirely fictional person
- Worn a dress
- Been thrown out of a bar for singing too many campfire songs
- Shat myself after a friend collapsed with chest pains
- Inadvertently covered a brand new necker in human faeces
- Hit my (broken) mobile phone with an inflatable mallet into a Dutchman
- Eaten three cloves of raw garlic
- Rubbed one clove of raw garlic into my feet
- Rubbed one clove of raw garlic into someone else's foot
- Concocted three brand new pasta dishes (with the help of the other member of Team Pasta)
- Learned the words to several Meatloaf songs
- Set my (broken) mobile phone in concrete under an upturned jam jar
- Burned my leg on a Defender handbrake
- Got my GCSE results
- Got a new mobile phone

And that's off the top of my head. My excuse is that I've been too busy doing things in places without internet connections to update, but now that things have settled back into the weekly grind I suppose that's not much of an excuse anymore. So here it is. The unawaited and largely trivial Comeback Of Sorts. Do try to enjoy it.