Have You Done Your Special K Ten Thousand Steps?

Earlier today, I went on a long and pointless walk, because it was a nice day and I was bored. I passed many a Public Footpath sign, and mostly they led off down those familiar beaten tracks. But one of them appeared to point at a wall, which puzzled me somewhat. As I got nearer, I found that there was a gap in the stone just wide enough to slip through — but it was disguised by the fact that, on the other side of the wall, there was a second, much higher one, made entirely out of bracken and nettles. I like to imagine it was cultivated intentionally by someone who wanted to keep people off his land despite the public right of way.

So this is a call to arms. Footpath oppression must be stopped, and our tracks must be kept clear and beaten, just for the look of the thing. Band together to form elite mercenary rambling groups and wander about the place making footpaths look like they've been used at least once this millenium. Packed lunches and machetes are a must. We can't have the great British public looking idle.